Grandma & her grandson are at the beach

He's playing in the water. She is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there, he was swept away.

The grandma holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries: "Lord, my GOD, how could you? Haven't I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven't I been a wonderful mother? Haven't I kept a kosher home? Haven't I given to charity? Haven't I lit candles every Friday night? Haven't I tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?"

A voice booms from the sky, "All right!! All right!!"

A moment later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there. He is smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.

The voice booms again. "I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?"

She responds, "He had a hat!"

The Lie Detector

Lie Detector

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that day.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."
Dad says,"What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!"
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says,"Well he certainly is your son!"
The robot slaps the mother!
End of Story

P.S. Robot For Sale

Children